Expert Psychologist Aytop: "Toxic Relationships Can Lead to Anxiety and Depression"

Emine Akın Aytop, Clinical Specialist Psychologist at Üsküdar Üniversitesi NPİSTANBUL Hospital, provided information on the signs of toxic relationships, their psychological effects, and the steps to take during the recovery process.

Toxic relationships can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety and depression
Clinical Specialist Psychologist Emine Akın Aytop, noting that it is not always easy for a person to recognise whether they are in a toxic relationship, stated: "Often it is difficult. One of the most fundamental reasons for this is that the good days you experience at the beginning of the relationship and the love and attachment you feel can prevent you from noticing manipulative behaviour."

Pointing out that sometimes a person may try to ignore a toxic situation even if they recognise it, Aytop said: "Toxic relationships can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety and depression. Manipulation, feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, loss of confidence, constant feeling of being under control and having to constantly explain oneself negatively affect a person's mental health. Furthermore, this situation can also lead to physical health problems. A toxic relationship has certain signs. Being constantly criticised, feeling used and worthless, feelings of helplessness and guilt, feeling extreme pressure and being under control, always being the one who makes sacrifices, constantly having to question yourself... If you are experiencing these signs, it is likely that you are in a toxic relationship."

Fears of loneliness are also commonly seen in toxic relationships
Drawing attention to how certain personality patterns and attachment styles can make it difficult to leave a toxic relationship, Clinical Specialist Psychologist Emine Akın Aytop stated: "For example, anxious attachment style and dependent personality patterns can be counted among these."

Noting that the techniques applied by the manipulator also reinforce the person's remaining in this relationship, Aytop said: "These manipulations cause the person to feel worthless, guilty or helpless and damage their self-esteem. Fears of loneliness are also commonly seen in toxic relationships; the person experiences worries such as 'what if the relationship ends and I am left alone?' In some cases, the person may take on a rescuer role and try to 'fix' the other party. This role may rescue the other party in the short term, but in the long term it can cause the person emotional, psychological and even physical harm. Financial dependency, children, family pressure or social anxiety can also increase a person's motivation to remain in the relationship."

The improvement of a toxic relationship depends on both parties being willing to change
Noting that recovery or improvement of a toxic relationship is possible, Clinical Specialist Psychologist Emine Akın Aytop stated: "However, it is quite difficult and success is not guaranteed. What is critical here is that both parties take responsibility and are willing to change."

Emphasising that not only the victim but also the manipulator must make an effort, Aytop said: "During this process, it is necessary to acknowledge the problems and unhealthy patterns in the relationship, show empathy, and make an effort to improve the relationship. If these conditions can be met and both parties can receive individual support, it may be possible to improve the toxic relationship through methods such as couples therapy."

Learning to show self-compassion again is very important in the recovery process
Saying that "A toxic relationship exhausts a person and leaves them in ruins," Clinical Specialist Psychologist Emine Akın Aytop noted that for this reason, after the relationship, a person will need to recover in many ways.
Noting that the recovery process includes the steps of accepting oneself, regaining self-confidence, gaining self-esteem and self-worth, becoming aware of one's own abilities, skills and capacity, and allowing oneself time, Aytop concluded her remarks as follows:

"In a toxic relationship, a person usually directs their compassion towards the other party and neglects showing compassion to themselves. For this reason, learning to show self-compassion again is very important in the recovery process. Additionally, some communication skills may be lost in a toxic relationship; saying 'no' and expressing dislikes can become difficult. During this process, reacquiring healthy communication skills is critical for both current and future relationships. Learning to set boundaries is also an important part of this process; 'Who am I? What are my boundaries? How much can others be involved in these boundaries?' Determining and implementing these things forms the foundation for healthy relationships. Socialising, engaging in enjoyable activities, focusing on personal development and physical health, acquiring new hobbies and paying attention to personal care accelerate the recovery process. During this process, you do not have to be alone; trusted people or professional support helps the process progress positively."