What Should a Healthy Father-Child Relationship Look Like?

Clinical Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan offered recommendations to both parties for a healthy father-child relationship. Clinical Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan from Anadolu Health Center, noting that the healthy relationship fathers establish with their children affects communication in adulthood and with others, stated: "Those who maintain healthy communication with their fathers, who see their fathers by their side in both good and bad times, those whose relationships are built on foundations of love, tolerance and acceptance, those who are loved unconditionally—they are more fortunate." Clinical Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan from Anadolu Health Center, noting that children who do not receive sufficient attention from their fathers tend in adulthood to help and assist everyone and everything "in their own way," stated: "When they do not receive the expected thanks and recognition in return, the person cannot escape disappointment. Children who cannot communicate with their fathers or whose communication is always mediated through their mother may fear and be intimidated by their fathers. In adulthood, they may become unable to even explain the simplest things to their spouses, friends or managers. Thus, instead of assessing reality, they conduct their relationships based on scenarios in their minds."

Excessive perfectionism is not good

Clinical Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan, noting that daughters of fathers who, due to perfectionist attitudes, are dissatisfied with everything and have a "more correct" solution for everything in their own view may avoid establishing romantic relationships, stated: "In these individuals, a thought may form that no one can be as perfect as their own father. Thus, they may experience failed romantic relationship attempts and attachment problems. Children exposed to their father's rejecting, distant, unaffectionate attitude may in adulthood show distrust and maintain distance toward people." Selin Karabulut Hızlan said that children of fathers who are away due to work, or who cannot see them regularly due to circumstances such as employment or divorce, generally tend to prefer not to be alone and show a greater inclination toward being in constant relationships.

For all these reasons, drawing attention to the fact that the "father" is among the topics most certainly discussed in psychotherapy, Clinical Psychologist Selin Karabulut Hızlan offered some recommendations to both parties for a healthy father-child relationship:

 

Attention Fathers

- A father who does not take an active role in his child's life remains a bit player. Take an active role in your children's lives. - Make an effort to have a relationship with your child that is open to communication, present in both good and bad times, and built on foundations of love and mutual respect. - Do not remain in your child's mind as a father who is always working and comes home late. - Being authoritarian does not mean frightening. Leave no room for fear in your relationship. - Especially after your children grow up, do not interfere in their lives; adults should make decisions about their own lives themselves. - Fathers working hard and bringing money home does not by itself mean they are "good" fathers. Think about this.

Attention Children

- Do not forget that you are adults and can take responsibility for your own lives. - Remember that you are no longer a small child and are not dependent on your parents. - Maintain your relationship while protecting your own boundaries. - Know that love, respect and honor are one thing, and your private life is another. - Always keep your relationship with your spouse or partner separate from your family relationships.